Oh man, uh, i'm a little behind

Holy shit holy shit holy shirt... so, i guess i got a little lazy with the blog. A few updates since i left Roswell:

I have a job! I work 40 hours a week at a home-brewing, wine-making and gardening supply store in Spring Lake Park. Makin bank, learning about brewing, wine-making, and possibly hydroponics?

I make beer! It's easy. You should too. and wine. and... tomatoes.

I have friends, who i see, like, all the time now! woo! I cook meals and share dear warmth with Nicole, drink beer with Mike, make beer with Dave, eat stuff with Sam, smoke cigars/discuss theology with Alan... i am happy.

My fantasy team continues to be awesome. So, back when i put the Seahawks in the Super Bowl and predicted Matt Hasselbeck to be the second coming of Christ. I meant Matt Cassel, and was talking about the Patriots. sorry for the confusion.

Oh, and I get to watch the Vikings now. su-wheet.

And i might finish bartending school, and i might not.

CHANGE.

Ah... that's better. I live in Minneapolis now and have great and loving friends around. ahhh.....

Hmm. I'm a little undecided about this whole continuing-to-blog thing. Now that so, so many of my talented and lovely friends are around to share in my experiences, i'm not sure if i'll feel like committing them to internet anymore. hmm...? Anyway if i'm being a lameass and not blogging, you know, and you care to know how my life's going, call me. (gives 'Call Me' sign. winks. oh yeah: ;-). there.)

So, changes. I decided to change the name of my blog, to something less pretentious (uh, literally). First off, I don't work in land management anymore, so that whole land-as-God-given-covenanty thing doesn't really work so much. Plus, it was a tad pretentious in the first-place. God didn't give me land, the government did, and i pretty much just drove my truck over it and pissed all over His sacred yucca plants.

And, I live in Minnesota now, so i lost the desert theme. I changed the background to roughly the color of BEER, which i shall soon start making and (possibly) serving. I'm unemployed, and a bit hobbyless at the moment (fantasy football does not count as a hobby), and strangely all my plans for the short-term revolve around alcohol. Since deciding happiness is my main priority right now, and that alcohol usually makes people somewhat happy or else really sad, I guess that's probably an okay thing.

Interesting note: people drink more during economic recession. It's true. So, plenty of market for tenders of the bar.

4 days and counting...

...and I am counting. I'm going to be a busy boy this week, packing shiz up and making the apartment spotless before I leave. Yeah, they're kind of hardasses around here as far as checkouts go. It'd probably be best to have a few days of cleaning before Friday, so I don't get hung up or anything.

So, I wrap up my job this week. The reason I traveled here, it was an okay job, it really was! However now my head is spinning, as far as career aspirations go. Professionally, I've been troubled lately. I realized today that my career goals haven't changed since I was six. If you'd have told me in the 1st grade, that when I graduated college, I'd get to drive around a big truck catching lizards and collecting acorns, I'd have been pretty stoked. As recently as this past March (when i took this job), I kept the same attitude. Kind of innocent, in a way. Or maybe i'm some kind of dumbass. oh, i don't know. i'm struggling here.

Also I have no idea what I'll do when I get up to the cities. Lab job at the U, or bartender probably. Part of me is screaming "Firefighter!", but that's probably my inner child, who incidentally is six years old. Little bastard, always seems to get his way.

So, the Vikings lost, but my fantasy team won! I named them Sunday Afternoon Ballaz, which is a flippin sweet carryover of our pickup basketball posse, the Friday Afternoon Ballaz (check out our website, er, facebook group!) Anyways, game ball -> Willie Parker. 3 TDs, sweet.

Watching the Vikes' game, I'm afraid to say, it looks like the Packers are going to be just fine with Aaron Rodgers. He's quality. Last summer, which I spent in Wisconsin, I had more than one person tell me I looked just like Aaron Rodgers. Still not quite sure about that.

By the way, I just figured out the hyperlinks feature, so I'm abusing it. Check this out.

I'm chipping away at my Roswell bucket list. It mostly consists of places to eat that I won't get to, because I bought way too much food here at the apartment. Damn. My crush on the girl at the Natural Foods Store is costing me a fortune. So much organic soup i don't need. I'm also contemplating one last alien-related exhibit, and buying something, anything, with an alien on it. I really shouldn't. It'll cost twice as much as if there were no alien on it, but who can resist the chincyness? I think I saw some alien beer, maybe i'll start there.

Ah, I'm about to escape Roswell, New Mexico. I feel special. One last note: Sixty years ago, 4 to 7 members of an advanced alien race crash-landed here after mastering intergalactic travel. They didn't get to go home. I do! Boy, do I feel special.

Cooler Ranch

Well, I'm back to naming my posts after flavors. SEX! was really a poor way to go in retrospect. I think using SEX! as a title qualifies as pandering to the audience, no? Geez, I thought I had more integrity than that. And then I remembered, I didn't.

Cooler Ranch, by the way, is because I went back up to my roommate's family's ranch over Labor Day weekend, and it was even cooler! Cooler Ranch totally is a flavor, by the way:

See.

Anyway, I got to help out at their family reunion, which is nice. I totally didn't fit into the family atmosphere, seeing as how over half of his family is Hispanic... but what are you going to do. It was like that movie, Wedding Crashers. No, not really. It was actually really fun.

I found out a cool new way to cook meat! Light a fire underground, then bury it! It was pretty sweet. i AM trying this on my own, once I get home and a hunting license. Details to follow.

So, I haven't really disclosed my awesome travel plans yet. Seeing as how I'll be leaving Roswell on September 12th, and not moving into our Dinkytown Happyhouse until October 1st, I'm going to use those 2 1/2 weeks to travel! I'm out west anyway... so eh. Yeah! I'll be in Denver [visiting a friend :-)] from 9/12-9/15, in Layton, Utah from 9/16-9/19 visiting my sister and soon-to-be brother [:-)], then to Oregon! Destiny has propelled me there. All you friends of mine (i.e. Laina, I know you're reading this), saying I'd fit in so well on the West Coast... I'll be there a week, to test it out. Woot. Oregon better put up or shut up.

I tried moving somewhere random, for sole purposes of having a job there. It didn't work. Time to go scouting, places where I could be happy...

Ah, what else. It's time for football! Even though I wasn't present for my fantast draft, my pre-determined rankings did me well.

Why doesn't Matt Hasselbeck get any love? Top 5 QB in the league, and has been for the past 5 years. Geez. My fantasy team is so solid. I'm stoked.

Bold, fearless predictions on the upcoming NFL season:

As predicted earlier, Randy Moss breaks his leg in October. Pats go 13-3, look great, lose in AFC Championship to the Steelers.

Biggest disappointments: New York Giants (7-9), Cincinnati Bengals (Cinco-Oncé, 5-11) and Indianapolis Colts (9-7, edged out of playoffs).

Biggest surprises: Oakland Raiders (9-7, make playoffs, beat Jacksonville in Wildcard round, lose to New England). Seattle, at 13-3. Matt Hasselback looks like the second coming of Christ. Loses at home to Minnesota in NFC Championship Game...

AFC Championship: Steelers 22, New England 20
NFC Championship: Vikings 24, Seahawks 20.

Super Bowl...
I haven't decided yet.

SEX!

Ha, fooled you. this post isn't about sex at all. I just really wanted you to read it, because it's got all kinds of important stuff like how I'm moving back up to Minnesota very very soon(!!!). And hey, studies show... as far as eye-catchers go, SEX! is pretty much the title you go with.

So to begin... don't really know how much of this I've let on via blog, but moving out to Roswell pretty much turned out to be a huge disappointment. When I write, I like to throw up stupid stories and stuff that enters my head, and the negative stuff (rightly) doesn't make it to the surface. Hey, I didn't start a blog just so I could bitch about things all the time.

So, seeing as how a great majority of my very best friends are still in Minnesota, as well as my parents, why not move back?? I'll be living right around Dinkytown, with the lovely Alan Stout, David Moon and Nicole Peterson! YYEAH!

I'm leaving Roswell on September 12th, then, well, doing a whole lot of traveling out west before I get back. Colorado, Utah, and Oregon. Why? Mostly awesome peeps I happen to know in those three locations, and pretty much, i see those as places out west where I could actually thrive
and flourish (unlike rural New Mexico). So... a scouting trip, between obligations in New Mexico & moving back to my glorious home state.

I didn't actually "quit" my internship, i just cut it about 2 months short (from 5 months to 3). Lizard-catching season is pretty much winding down anyway, and it seemed like without lizards, the bosses here would just scramble something together for me to do. For another two months. Nah, I decided, my future's not here, and I'd rather go home.

So what don't I like about Roswell? Well, first allow me a graphic that illustrates everything Roswell isn't:




Roswell, a teen sci-fi-ish series (think Smallville) that lasted from 2000 to 2003 on the WB, does an outright horrible job accurately portraying life here. The clean, attractive young people shown above don't seem to be gang members at all. I bet half of them haven't even tried meth, let alone made and sold it. They're probably tolerant, upstanding people who don't own attack dogs, drive around drunk, and say incredibly racist things. And, of course, they're aliens. I haven't met one stinking alien here.

wow, this is turning into the post where ben vents. calm...

Okay. I'm coming home very soon (probably move into the Cities around October 1st), so if you're around and reading this you should stop by and hug me. And then we can hang out!

What's Ben going to do for a job once he's moved back?, you may be thinking. If you are, cool! I'm thinking that too.

Brains make you dumber.

Hey all,
Well, during in my time in Roswell, I've been trying to pick up on subtle differences between academic, biological science and biology for practical purposes (such as occur at the BLM). I found something interesting in talking to my boss Steve. They're doing interviews for a new Wildlife Biologist position opening up in Roswell (a spot i declined interest in), and Steve has interviewed a handful of guys. He refers to the by their GPA's in college: "Two 4.0's, a 3.6, a 3.2, and a 3.0" And he's showing preference for them in inverse order. Yep, favor based on low GPAs, so far.

To those of you who've just graduated college (most of you, i'd imagine), this must offend the hell out of your scholastic sensibilities. The reasoning for it is this: the higher the GPA, especially with anyone insane enough to have a 4.0, the higher the ability to use high-end, complex reasoning skills and brown-nose your ass off. Big frickin whoop. This is the real world, Commie. The worse you did in college, the more time you presumably (pending interview) spent gaining valuable social skills, doing things you weren't instructed to do, or things you were instructed not to do, and gaining real world skills. And the more likely you are to operate a truck without needing "instructions."

And you know what, he's right. Me and my education get the damn truck stuck in the sand far too often, and for the other guys I work with, pulling a truck out of the sand is just called Saturday. Hey, any idiot can catch a lizard. To do so without suffering a critical existential crisis WHAT AM I DOING HERE takes at most a 2.6 GPA.

I went to Carlsbad Caverns & the Guadalupe Mountains of Texas today! The caverns are HUGE, sweet, and limestone-y. The mountains were good, a nice little hike and a jaunt into neighboring Texas. The Caverns are about 2 hours south of here... pretty much something i had to do during my time in New Mexico, and I'm glad I did it. As time might be winding down, hey, time to exhaust any cool things around here to do.

Aw, Now I'm All Warm On The Inside

Hey Friends,
Man do I feel great after some time home! Big thanks to everyone who played a part in that awesomeness, and, for those whom I haven't seen in a while, here's hoping our day will come soon.

To clarify, I got to spend a day or two in the Twin Cities, bus over to Milwaukee for a week to attend an ecology conference courtesy of St. Olaf, and then a couple days split between the Twin Cities and home before flying into Roswell tonight. MAAAN that felt good. Felt nice and warm on the inside, as opposed to here where i only feel warm on the outside.

Ecology conferences are great. More generally, I'm a fan of any gathering that reeks of science. I loved the symposium each spring at Olaf, and this ESA meeting was pretty much that, but more intense and lasting a week, the content of which covered pretty much all research contemporary in ecology. sweet! I'm finally feeling very, very motivated... like, grad school motivated. Seriously.

My rationale for taking a job in monitoring (as opposed to research) was to see another side of what people do with biology degrees. College is great for getting a thorough look in how people are using their degrees, at college. And in regards to biology, that's going to be research and teaching for the most part. Yet there's a slew of other stuff, the non-ivory tower stuff like catching lizards with sticks and getting your truck stuck, that just doesn't get represented. perhaps rightly so. and you know what? I really haven't cared to advance in monitoring, at least based upon what I've experienced so far. But now i know. So... grad school?

I told myself I'd have to have a real passion for something before pursuing it at the graduate level. And, I think ESA might have opened my eyes to something. Firstly, how confusing and convoluted the field of ecology is! Many if not most of the research presented at a place like ESA goes something like this.

So, I draw inferences about (hypothetical construct) and support the current model of Dr. So&so et al. (year), based upon the past (3 - 6) years of my life spent bent over a patch of soil observing (latin name of organism, probably 30+ letters and uninteresting) as a case study.

Not to diminish research in ecology (heavens no!), or to suggest it should be done any differently. That's just how a great deal of it runs. Doing something not terribly interesting to people at large (i.e. sampling soil, counting maggots, measuring carapaces, etc.) to support or refute some construct developed by someone else twenty years ago. As a result, a lot of biologists I've met have an organism that they've pretty much banked their careers on (at Olaf for example, Freedberg = turtles, Crisp = leeches, Porterfield = fish esp. long-eared sunfish, etc). I'm not sure I'll ever have a passion for any particular case study like that, but you never know. I see myself more as a theory guy.

And, I love evolution. yep, at a personal level too. Feel it pretty much explains everything, and when I think of academic biology in my time beyond St. Olaf, its pretty much always geared toward applying evolutionary theory somehow. It's a definite grad school possibility for me, though yeah, vague at this point. I found myself gravitating towards the evolution-related talks at ESA, and was interested to hear that the evolution guys have their own conferences as well (according to one ecologist I talked to, evolutionary biologists are seen as more competitive, and less collaborative, than ecologists. That natural selection, i tell ya. gets into your brain.)

So for now.. yeah, more stuff to figure out. Viva la evolution!

Snakes on a Plate

So, I had my first meal of Western Diamondback tonight. Seems it's actually a pretty common thing to eat here, and you know, it's not unlike beef! Everyone else will tell you that snake tastes like chicken... but of course anyone claiming that something that's not chicken "tastes just like chicken" is being an unoriginal, ignorant clod.

The guys I work with bashed it with a shovel for its skin and rattle, and i figured I could take the rest and make dinner. Very Indian, kind of a 'noble savage' thang. I'm sure Michael Pollan would approve.

In other, exciting news, I get to attend the 2008 ESA Conference in Milwaukee from August 3rd thru the 8th! (That's Ecological Society of America... not to be confused with the Endangered Species Act). I'm stoked. I conveniently padded my flight times a couple days before & after the conference... to of course have some Minnesota time to break up all this Roswell madness. So, I'll be in the Twin Cities Thursday & Friday and a bit of time afterward............. yeah!

So enough with titles of posts that are also flavors. I'm kind of liking the whole movie parody thing (this post, of course, parodies the 2006 Samuel L. Jackson masterpiece, Snakes on a Plane). Speaking of movies...

-I finally saw the new Rambo tonite. Pretty good, and cool that it took place in a real-world genocide that few people know about, Burma. Let's hear it for senior citizens taking on military juntas!
-Saw new Batman, and can't say anything that hasn't already been said. Excellent movie.
-Last, I was watching Casino Royale for the fourth time the other day, and it occurred to me. If anyone makes a movie about my life, I really, really want to be played by Daniel Craig. I know, i know, i've gotta hit the gym. just sayin.

Cool Ranch

Hi Readers. I decided i might start giving my posts titles flavors rather than titles, because, well, flavors capture people's attention. I called this one 'Cool Ranch' because I got to spend the weekend in Mora, NM at my roommate's grandfather's cool ranch. It was reee-laxing, and awesome to get a change of scenery. There are actually really cool mountains in the north and center of New Mexico and, apparently, great skiing.

Haha, there's also a Mora, MN about a half hour from my house. It's a few houses, a school, and a sweet thrift store called Mora Unclaimed Freight. It's exactly what it sounds like.

Did you know that New Mexico has the highest per capita military enlistment of any state? I raise this point because it's been sort of a recurring theme of my time here. In Roswell, many/most males my age attend NMMI, the New Mexico military institute. Nearer the college which can barely be considered a college, is a huge National Guard, uh, place. And everyone's dad seems to either work for an oil company or be in the military.

My roommate's dad, for instance, is a weapons instructor for the Air Force. Meaning, I got to try on Air Force night vision goggles (the ones that make everything look green) at the ranch! And sweet they are. It was pitch black out; slip those babies on, and you can see all the glorious green contrast you need. Not all fuzzy like TV depictions make it seem, these puppies were clear as a bell. I kind of want a pair now, but don't want to fork over the $1500 that they go for. We also shot at stuff (non-living), but sadly with civilian rifles and not anything cool like the AF would have.

Sort of feel like this guy: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28181

Coming from a school like Olaf, it seems suddenly weird to have all this military stuff around, reminding me that the military actually exists. It's strange. The moment I was born, I was headed to college. Probably like that for most Olaf folks. I was once listening to a political commentator, who was posed the question of why college students haven't opposed the Iraq War as vehemently as those of a generation ago opposed Vietnam. His answer, and i think i agree with him, is that in the 60's with the draft in place, it could have been anybody sent to fight. Young people opposed war as much out of self-preservation as principle. If you yourself weren't sent off to fight, surely some of your closest friends or family would have been.

Nowadays, enlistment occurs so strictly within lines of culture and, yes, class too. Your average Ole grad can probably name a buddy or two from high school who went and signed up for the military... but thats about it. For better or for worse, the personal cost of our military endeavors isn't being paid by the upper-middle class. It's largely places with a military culture (like New Mexico, Texas, etc.) and the poor who feel the crunch. The commentator went on to speculate that, if the draft were reinstated and a bunch of upper-middle class students were to be shipped out, the outcry would be such that the war would end the next day. Thoughts?

My dad served in the army during Vietnam, luckily well away from combat. It was an incredibly formative time in his life, and I find myself unable to relate to the military actually benefiting someone from an upper-middle class background. Much different times, I guess. Hey, if we had a military like many European nations (a compulsory term of actual civil service rather than combat), i'd totally do it. But oh wait no, there's a war going on. Guess I'll pass.

The Land of 28 Lakes

Upon moving to Roswell, the first thing here that surprised me was the SCUBA shop on 2nd street. I went in and talked to the owner, told him that I'd just moved from Minnesota, and explained my surprise that SCUBA diving would actually exist in New Mexico. With surprise, he said "Why? We have 28 lakes here." Big frickin' whoop, I think. We've got 10,000! (actually, more like 13,000. With names at least).

That said, i got hooked up to the aquatic scene in Roswell. I've been diving once already--on a "trash pick-up", but really an excuse to dive. And this past weekend, tubing & wakeboarding near Carlsbad. = Good times! man i'm red though. And sore. and... smell like coors light. good weekend.

Gotta say, when I left Minnesota/Wisconsin, I thought I'd be leaving lakes for quite a while. That hasn't turned out to be the case! I heard (not sure if I believe...) that New Mexico of all states has the highest boat ownership per capita. And all for 28 lakes? Jeepers.

People down here, upon hearing I'm from Minnesota, seem disappointed that I don't have an accent. And hey, I'm happy: Non-regional diction is a good thing, right? The locals down here do kind of have an accent. Sort of Texan, I guess. Which brings me to another point, New Mexico seems to have a serious man-crush on Texas. And the rest of the south in general. I'm so fricking sick of seeing the Confederate Flag. C'mon guys, New Mexico became a state some 45 years after the Civil War ended! Do the math! I haven't figured out why this place wants to be Alabama so bad. I guess some mysteries are better left unsolved.

Roswell...

...is the Mecca of a very weird religion. I type this on the heels of the UFO festival last weekend, which (true) consisted of some really, really interesting lectures on the 1947 UFO incident. Something definitely happened here, something other than a weather balloon, that justified one hell of a cover-up.

I have to issue an apology--that Roswell movie, that I made fun of in an earlier post, isn't half bad! It offers a concise history of the event, plus the whole town seems pretty proud of it. Which makes sense; if they ever make Northfield: the movie, surely the locals would be brimming with pride. I can see it now: a young Norwegian man from rural Minnesota leaves the dairy farm to get an education at St. Olaf College, becomes a successful off-brand cereal entrepreneur, preaches his wisdom as a lecturer at Carleton, then dies after a night of drinking at the Cow, plunging to his death in the Cannon River. Perfect. Next project: Cambridge-Isanti: A tale of two cities...

I actually find UFO enthusiasts to be quite a bit more informed than the average person. There's quite often something to their message. Often times however, they don't stop there. I heard the UFO conspiracy tied into damn near every other conspiracy you can think of--the Kennedy assassination, Marilyn Monroe's suicide(?), 9/11, global warming (which is supposedly now a conspiracy), the moon landing, NASA is run by the freemasons... etc. Oh, and for everyone's reference, here's a breakdown of all alien species known to science:

http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicspecies.htm

It's pretty funny to hear these guys argue with each other. "No, UFOs aren't extraterrestrial, they're human craft from the future, piloted by super-evolved human beings, dumbass!" Geez, reminds me of my BTS-T credit. I guess it's fun to guess at things.

Work is okay. It's been really rainy here (i know, we're all surprised too), so things are pretty slow. Weekends are boring--i think i'll take in nearby Carlsbad Caverns sometime soon. Other than that, i'll try to be in touch. Oh, and thanks everyone for all the kind birthday wishes! I got to celebrate with free beer and ice cream. NOM NOM.

Happy Birthday, America!

Wooo! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
okee, enough of that. It's July now, which means I take down the puppy-poll (the yeses have it. i voted 'maybe'.) and replace it with one that actually makes sense. I think I'll stick with the patriotic theme for the month.

So i've been catching up on the UFO festival the past couple of days. I attended some free-to-the-public lectures yesterday and today, by folks who are in the business known as ufologists. Certainly some interesting perspectives, although each I've seen has certainly been too sure of his own various theories. I enter into the idea of extraterrestrials with an open mind, although I see severe limitations of anyone study of the phenomena which has no empirical basis. Then again, if there is some sort of cover-up of said evidence, that's precisely what justifies the need for ufological (sp?) research. right?

Here's what I thought coming into the weekend. If ETs do exist, there's an excellent chance that their existence would be withheld from average people such as you or myself. It's the nature of government to cover its ass on matters that could threaten political stability. If ETs don't exist, well then, they don't. So the question shifts from "how can we tell" to: "does it seem likely?" And, with the number of stars and number of planets and blah blah, etc., it seems incredibly likely. So, I'll hear these guys out.

Something did crash here in 1947, nobody disputes that. The wreckage was a sizable skid of debris discovered by local ranchers, and in the days following army personnel and media alike reported the object to be a "flying disc." The idea of a flying saucer wasn't stigmatized as much in the 40s, and their existence wasn't challenged as much as it is today. The military changed its story the next day to say that the object was merely a weather balloon (uh... skid?). Military officials sealed off the area and took the debris and/or remains off to places unknown. The next 6 months saw the passing of the National Security Act, as well as the establishment of the National Security Council, CIA, Air Force, and Department of Defense. hmm, all in late 1947.

Yeah, yeah, there's a serious lack of direct evidence. But you've gotta admit, some of the fragments are pretty cool (presence of titanium in the soil around the crash, zoom-in of a photo of a memo re: Roswell reveals word victims (unmanned weather balloon?), death-bed reference to "creatures" by the officer in charge of locking down the site, etc). It's all pretty cool, and quite festival worthy.

Yeah. Well, Happy Birthday again America! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Fishing for lizards

Long day, and i'm reely tired. We got our damn truck stuck in sand today, as a mild form of protest over being demoted to 2-wheel drive. i've said too much.

I'm now quite handy at catching lizards! I was budgeted to build myself a 'lizard stick' - a retractable metal rod with a noose of fly backing on the end, around which to snare lizards. Little buggers are about the size of your finger and incredibly fast. I cannot emphasize enough how ungodly fast those little things are.

Why do we catch them?? Well, the sand dune lizard is a species under consideration for being listed as "endangered"--which, of course, comes with many a legal ramification. Our job (myself and the two guys I work with) is to prove or disprove the existence of these lizards in various locations, to assess where they are. The data gets heaped along with that of other years, and someone higher up (i suppose) decides whether or not to list these guys.

Basically, my typical day at work is something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jV1bRfLHA3A

I lied. that would be awesome though.

I'm really excited for this weekend. It will afford me a chance to sleep past 5am, yes, but also it's Roswell's 4th of July UFO festival--woo! Roswell has a steady tourism industry. In that, there's a constant stream of downright weird people who visit Roswell simply because it's Roswell, New Mexico. Alien skeptics, believers, freaky-believers, and of course the whole aluminum-hat crowd converge here for the festivities. I'm excited to people watch, and to take some pics.
Any real gems, I'll stick somewhere online. I know for a fact people dress up for this thing... be excited.

Back to School

You know, it occurs to me that technically, it took me three weeks post-graduation before I moved back into college (ENMU -- go Cougars!). But being at a college where you for all practical purposes don't belong isn't all Van Wilder... no, no -- i had serious business to attend to this past weekend. In the form of the class that makes this affordable housing all possible: Basic Life Support for Emergency Health Care providers.

I majored in Biology. Now if you know me well, i'm firmly entrenched in the non-medical side of the science. You know, the biology that deals with plants and animals and stuff. In fact according to recent studies, over 87% of all biology occurs outside of hospitals (Clifford, unpublishable). Nevertheless there is something of a vested interest in knowing what to do if you see a guy dying. Fair enough, and i need to take something if i am to stay here... so they can have my weekend.

In truth it took a little under 4 hours--start at 8, test out before lunch. The course is complete, and I get to be a card-carrying CardioPulminaryRespiro... guy. Sort of like Peter in Family Guy. sweet!

ENMU is such a different college than St. Olaf. I looked through a course listing, and was struck by the juxtaposition of deciding between Intro to Religion and Intro to Refrigeration. One perk: we do have our own airport. St. Olaf could use its own airport. Reference, anybody?

The rest of my weekend I spent biking around Roswell. Found the nice part of town on Saturday. Roswell was billed to me as a retirement community, which I was able to confirm about on my bike (why anyone would retire in 100+ degree heat eludes me; sounds a bit... fatal, frankly). So, not really a lot of young people down here. Of those that are, a great deal are put up in the NM Military Institute. Come to think of it, there are a lot of random military installations down here. Sadly, also occupying local youths are gangs, and a rehab center nearby.

And today I finally made it to the Alien & UFO research museum! Roswell's funny - it pulls in so much in tourism and notoriety for the crash that happened some 60 miles northwest on some guy's ranch. I learned quite a bit of background today at the museum, and yes, it actually is a really interesting case. I shall relay more later.

Snipets:
Congratulations to my sister Megan, and her fiance Joe who just got engaged!!!
I shaved my head again! overshadowed here perhaps by my sister's engagement, but i like it and it was the only reasonable thing to do.

I return to the field tomorrow. I'm quite terrible at catching lizards so far... mehaps i can turn it around.

Congrats, KG

Here's something I never expected to see after the T-Wolves caved in 2003:

Congratulations KG!!!

Speaking of things I never expected to see...

Randy Moss, now doing his stupid chicken dance-thing for New England. It was so much cooler when he was mooning people in Minnesota.
And just like Moss himself, the Pats look god-like for almost the whole season, pushing the limits of statisticians to even describe how awesome they are, and then don't show up when it really counts. 16 and 0, or 18 and 1?

And what's with Boston taking all our best athletes? Garnett, Moss, David Ortiz, Doug Mientkiewicz, Manny Fernandez... what the hell??? I guess Minnesotan teams have a tendency to yard-sale off their best players. To anyone, really. Even you or me! So if you want Marian Gaborik or Joe Mauer to do your laundry and take out your trash... all it'll cost you is a mid-round draft pick and one or two young prospects. Hey, we all know a couple.

No wonder the last one to win anything was, uh, I guess the Twins back in 1991. Wow. I guess next March, when we trade Adrian Peterson to Cleveland for a 3rd round draft pick and a JUGS machine, we'll have three more "rebuilding" years to sit through. gaaaa.

But seriously, this is the Vikes' year. 11-5, improbable playoff run to the Super Bowl... where we get squashed by the Jags 42-20. (would have been Pats, but Moss tweaks a hammy in week 6 and is gone for the year).

These remarkably-detailed sports predictions brought to you by me--a man at a computer!

It's getting late. Again, Way to go KG.

Destination: New Mexico

Move over Rio Grande, there's a New Mexico!

So my pappy and I finished up our road trip--2 days, with an overnight in Pratt, Kansas--and celebrated by staying in his buddy's Indian casino in Albuquerque (i'm getting really good at spelling Albuquerque. Albuquerque. no i did not just copy and paste that. albuquerque.) And we won money! Single deck blackjack is the single most convenient form of gambling known to man. Hell, when the shoe is just 52 cards, even I can count that. So I arrive in Roswell about $120 richer.

My living situation is this. There are no good, cheap apartments in Roswell, near as my Craigslisting abilities could flesh out. I spoke with another guy I'm going to be working with, who's also from out of town, and he's been living in a hotel for the past few weeks. Furnished, and nice, but my god that adds up.

So my dad took the liberty of inquiring into housing at the University of Eastern New Mexico Roswell campus--which, sadly, is only open to actual students of the university. We inquired as to what this meant, and it means taking a minimum of 1 credit (in St. Olaf terms = 0.25 credits. Or Fitness Walking, for god's sake). So I looked at a course listing. Of course, i'm here to work a job, not get my degree; however, there is a 1 credit, weekend-long EMT-training refresher course. And it's next weekend. I'm signed up, I live in an ENMU apartment for peanuts a month, and I learn what to do if I find a guy passed out on the sidewalk. Tuition? Fifty-two dollars. YYEEEAAHHH!

I haven't formed any real impressions of Roswell yet. Just an average town, maybe 2 or 3 Northfields, 4 or 5 Cambridges. And constantly over 100 degrees, which is nice. Judging by the absolutely stellar (note: sarcasm) works of sci-fi that Roswell has spawned,

i figured the whole UFO crashsite/alien cover-up thing would lend itself to some serious chincery around town. i haven't encountered it yet but will keep my eyes peeled.

Dear god, it's Martin Sheen in that awful Roswell movie! Co-starring Dwight Yoakam. Must... not... rent... ...!

Lastly, I realize my last post ("Road Trip, Part 1") implied that this one would be entitled ("Road Trip, Part 2"), but it wasn't. I'm here in New Mexico now; who wants to recap? Not I. Plus, now it's sort of like Mel Brooks' History of the World, Part 1, to which no sequel was ever made. Awesome movie. You should rent it. But not Roswell. leave that alone.

Road Trip, Part 1

Hi all, I'm leaving for New Mexico tomorrow! My dad and I are doing this, the whole 20some hours, road trip-style. I was torn between going through fun and exciting Colorado(!!!), or plain jane Kansas which cuts 140 miles off the trek. As I'm driving to my conservation internship, I've decided not to be a douche and to cover the shortest distance possible, through Kansas. pray for us.

In other news, people are reading this now! woot-yeah. someone has even voted in my poll... hurry hurry, only what, 20 days left? How, oh how, do people feel about puppies??

Okay, i've got to pack and I mean it this time. I'll fill ya in later.

Life is Fun!

Hey guys. No one is yet aware of my blog, so I feel no need to write with any semblance of a filter. Ass! oh man this is dangerous. mehaps I'll put a link to it on my facebook profile. balls.

So, I see that not everyone's blogging career takes off: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30649

that's another thing you can expect from me. A loottt of links to relevant Onion articles.

I went to Chicago last week! I had never been there before, nor actually had I been to New York or L.A., a bit odd, since I've been to Berlin/Frankfurt/Paris/Amsterdam/Tokyo/Shanghai/Beijing/Bangkok/Ho Chi Minh City. Anyway, usually I really dislike big cities, but Chicago really helped turn that around for me! Super expensive, although not as bad as it could have been, Chicago was very clean, and Chicagoans seem to be pleasant, non-threatening Midwesterners. Got to go to the Cubs game (Wrigley Field!) my first night in town, under the most random circumstances. Great game, small stadium, good hot dogs. All in all, the Cubies get an A.

I got scammed a couple times. Everyone's story seems to involve "I need money for my two children..." The first time it seems likely enough, then it just gets old. Next time, I'm asking for names.

"My car is out of gas, and I have two little daughters I need to get to dinner!"
Me: "Oh no! Two daughters? Quick, what are their names?"
"Uh... ... Rob..berta, and ... Joy-Joy. Roberta and Joy-Joy."
Me: Ah. I see. Bye.

easy, right? If I had one superpower, it would be to think on my feet like that.

that's not really true. My answer to the age-old party question "what would your superpower be?" is Omnipotence. Arguably within the rules of the game, this is analagous to finding a genie in a bottle and wishing for infinite wishes. I could fly, I could read minds, I could know the mind of God. Suckas.
And if you wish for the power of invisibility, you ARE a pervert. be honest, what else can you really do with that?

I've had a great weekend. Amy and Goeun came from Olaf to visit me at my house! We went kayaking, we watched movies (new Indy = FUN), we enjoyed each other's company. Another reminder how sad it's going to be to move to New Mexico on Wednesday (sigh). I'm going to miss you guys. More later. I love you guys.

The Lowdown

Alrighty! Well I'm back, and things are starting to take shape. So I picked a definitive theme for this blog thing. let me explain:

First, a question: If you could live the life of any historical figure, who would it be?
My answer is the biblical Abraham. you'll see why later.

For those who don't know, I'm leaving Minnesota to take a conservation internship in the Chihuahuan Desert of Roswell, New Mexico. This will be great for me. For some reason, I've always loved the symbolism of wandering the desert. That, and I'm a complete biological reductionist--hence, the Abraham fixation.

Get a load of this. Genesis is chugging along, we are introduced to Abram, who's at first just sort of a background character. Then, God starts favoring the hell out of him--go stand on this hill & all the land you can see, is yours; your barren wife Sarah (age 90) will start bearing children; your offspring will be as numerous as the stars; they will overtake their enemies' cities, et cetera. Every word dripping with pure genetic fantasy.

Think about it. Every little perk of Abraham's directly acknowledges the ingrained sense that the author (really all men. women too, although they employ much different strategies.) of how to win at natural selection. 1.) Take over all of a scarce resource (land), 2.) fill it with little Abrahams, 3.) Make sure the little Abrahams are rich, powerful men too ("I will make nations of you, and kings will come from you"), and 4.) start pimping the Canaanites. Really, there's no way for this to fail.

Funny thing, Darwin comes along some 3,000 years after this was written to "explain" natural selection to us. But Abraham knew about it all along. You know that Sunday school song that goes "Iiiiii'm a child of Abraham. And so are you. And you. And you, and you, and you!"
Game, set, match --> Abraham.

Also, I feel that wandering the desert is otherwise very symbolic of something. Seeing as how many people reading this blog recently graduated and are out on their own, we'll go with that.

It seems I have a blog

Well, we graduated two days ago. I miss you all and think we should all get blogs (whoever happens to be reading this, i assure you, I love and miss you). Here's my first step towards that.

My screen is all white and format-ty right now; mehaps i'll figure out how to edit stuff to please you all aestetically. Yuck. A text-box just popped up, and I feel compelled to type something in it. Sorry you have to read all this. I'm so virtually disoriented now, I don't know what I'm doing. It's like hearing a year-old Spalding Gray learning how to babble. Not that i'm that good, but, you know...

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow. That, and I've been thinking lately. more to come later.